this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
