You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
