No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Drake has all the answers
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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