worst night to have a conscience
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
