Fuck appropriateness.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
