Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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