We're like a lot better than the average bears
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I could fuck to npr.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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