go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
