Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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