Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
