This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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