Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
