i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
