so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
