But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize