Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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