My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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