its not stalking. its research.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
