Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
