i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
