i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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