If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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