He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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