The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
