The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
His hands were made for my vagina.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
