Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You need a sexual gate keeper
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
