Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
