He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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