he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
