It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
