Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
