he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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