i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
