Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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