It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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