Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
