For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
