Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
