it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
