Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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