yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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