Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
