I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
