i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize