Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
