He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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