Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
