The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
