Joe is yelling at the trees again.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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