So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You smell like stripper and shame
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
so much tequila, so little girl.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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