drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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