i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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