You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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