it hurts more in the daytime
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
