They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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