Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
