Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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